I haven't kept to my promise of posting regularly, and for that I will apologies. I literally haven't really had the time to sit and write something. The time is now 12:09 AM and I am struggling to sleep due to one reason or another so thought, what better time to post on my blog!
I made a post back in October which was basically an update on where I have been, how I was doing and what to expect for the future, this was mainly because I was getting quite a few messages from people wondering where I was, and why I had not been as active as I normally am, whether it be on Steam or my blog itself.
This is going to end up being a mix of "the boring personal stuff" and end with a couple of reviews of games I have been playing recently.
I last updated about finally being diagnosed with depression. Whilst I have come to terms with this now, it is something which I have been suffering from since my adolescent years. I have come to terms with my illness and while I am still ashamed of it, I've accepted it. If you break your leg, you'll get sympathy from all quarters throughout the time you have your cast on - even though the initial pain has long subsided. If you have depression, it's far more difficult to open up about, as you don't necessarily have the outward signs on show.
One of the most frustrating things for me to deal is when people give out the old "what do you have to be depressed about" line - as if because you have a good job, a partner that you love, that you somehow negate your right to feel down. Personally I don't feel down all the time. I have times when I couldn't be happier. Most of those involve spending with with my girlfriend, who I love and adore more than anything else in this world, yet I know how it must make her feel to see me suddenly go from happy to down in her company. That's the cruel thing about depression, it doesn't just harm you - it harms those closest to you as well. It isn't the fault of the person I'm with, or the things that I'm doing if I suddenly feel down. Just because I might be feeling sad, it isn't necessarily because of you.
When I was younger, I faced a traumatic experience, rather than face up to the problem then, I buried deep, so deep I never really thought about it. About twelve months ago I started to see a therapist, due to struggling coming to terms with a breakdown of a past relationship, whilst the time with my therapist has allowed me to overcome this pain, it unearthed alot of my problems relate back to my experience when I was younger. Due to my life falling apart around me at the time, and couple that with negative thoughts already in my head, and you have a recipe for disaster.
Said disaster nearly came earlier this year. One day after work, I went straight to my room. I just began to cry, my head was going into overdrive with ideas and concepts. I closed my room door behind me and for one moment I had a brief spell of clarity. I composed myself, went downstairs and collected every tablet I could lay my hands on. I quietly slipped out the house and walked about half a mile to a local field. I used to play in this field when I was younger. No one came here now. I took a handful of the pills in my hand and swallowed them in one ago. As I sat and watched the vehicles go by on the road in the distance, I had a real moment of clarity. What was I doing? Why am I letting everything win? I stuck my fingers down my throat and regurgitated as much as I could and headed for the local walk in centre, from that moment on I vowed never to let it win. People who have hurt me in the past, or the demons in my brain.
I realize that to many that know me personally, some of the things above may be quiet surprising. I have never spoken openly about certain aspects of my battles before, and know that many won't know how to react. For me, just treat me the same you would normally. Just feeling like I'm wanted and that people do care can sometimes be enough. To the people that have had to put up with my dark moods, and in particular, Annie who is an ever present rock for me, thank you for being there. It means more than I can put into words. I'll probably always be battling these demons, but with the help of those around me, I know I can survive.
Something a little more cheery for me to say, is that just after Christmas, Annie and myself are moving in together, and I have never been looking forward to something as much as this in my whole life. I can't wait to wake up to her every single morning and go to sleep next to her every night.
For the people that actually managed to make it through to this point, I will give a few quick reviews on some of the games I have been playing. Sadly I don't have any screenshots as I have been playing with a controller due to traveling and haven't figured out how to bind the screenshot button to it yet
//N.P.P.D.RUSH// - The milk of Ultra violet
//N.P.P.D. RUSH is one crazy acid trip that I really wasn't sure was ever going to end. The game is one meaty bullet-hell gauntlet. Although the actual game has some crippling bugs, you can just about finish the goal in the allotted time.
The first major bug is that the time you get to complete your task of freeing people, actually starts before you start the game, it starts the timer on the menu screen, which is horrifying that this somehow got passed basic QA.
Game play is simple, but very very hard to master, essentially driving around on what I would assume to be a motorbike saving people while dealing with hoard and hoards of enemies. This game is soul-destroying hard and it took a lot of off-line play for me to finally get to the end by pure luck.
There are far better rogue like and bullet-hell games out there, this one just doesn't cut it for me.
This is a highly addictive game. A very fast paced match-three puzzle/action/rpg. Match three swords/staves to deal damage to enemies as you run along to your exit, collect gold, wood and experience to build better equipment and learn new skills.
It will have you rage quitting and then moments late, you find yourself oddly compelled to open it up again and continue where you finished off.
The graphics style is pretty neat, you don't really play this sort of game for the graphics though, the fast paced music keeps the momentum going as well. There is next to zero re playability however, once you escape, you won't want to carry on playing, as you will have already full upgraded your castle, armour and abilities anyway. Yes you can keep trying to beat your high score, but that's just not my thing.
Most people will probably have this in their library from a bundle or maybe just for farming trading cards, but if you want a pick up and play game will keep you playing for hours on hours, 10,000,000 is really worth a shot.
Evil Quest was a purchase I made not expecting too much from it, however after just completing it, it was well worth the ride. It's a nice change to play as the bad guy and want to take over and destroy the world for once. This classic SNES type RPG game did everything right for me. It doesn't take itself too seriously, I mean, c'mon, you have to kill God....
Towards the end of the game, I pretty much ripped through any enemies in one shot, you can collect some pretty overpowered spells, and if you are like me, and stacked Intellect to get a higher mana pool, you could simply AOE through most zones, mopping up the experience as you went.
The game is actually pretty simple. As long as you read the story, you won't find yourself wondering where to go next as it is quite clearly set out for you. There isn't any side quests to complete, however there are a number of achievements you work towards.
I would highly recommend this game if you are looking for something a little different and only want to spend £1,60, you can't go wrong with this five hour long title.
Child of Light
Brilliant little turn based RPG Final Fantasy'esk game. I had been sitting on this game for a number of months since purchasing in the sale. I had often thought the graphics would not suite me, but they really are enchanting once you start playing.
The colorful scenery, water effects, and lighting makes this a very pretty 2D game. I really enjoyed the story. It wasn't too short, and wasn't too long, which some games sometime seem to suffer from. I wasn't too keen on the fact you don't really have a "quest log" to view all of your side quests, they all seem to get jumbled up in your item inventory, why, i have no idea?
The combat system in very simple. Two of your party members fight up to three enemies at any one time. You can switch members around in the midst of combat so you can always try and get the advantage over the enemy.
This game is really an enjoyment play through. 100% worth the price tag of £11,99, so if you can get it cheaper in a sale, you have yourself a huge bargain!
Bound By Flame
So, I'll start out by saying there is no way this game is worth the £29,99 price tag that it has currently - at most it should be £20 and even that could be said to be pushing it.
The graphics look pretty good to be honest, yes you may need quite a beefy rig to play them on full, but they are well worth it. The actual game play represents a classic Action Game, consisting all of the usual, heavy attacks, blocks, swipe attacks, as well as your magic abilities. The combat system can feel a little clunky to begin with, but once you work out the timings on when to block and parry attacks, it's OK.
I would say the main story is a little short for the price tag. I finished the game in just under fourteen hours. I would highly recommend you finish the majority of the side missions as to get a few levels advantage over the story, as some of the end bosses are quite challenging.
That being said, the bosses in Bound by Flame have a very Dark Souls'esk feel to them. You have to work out the best strategy to take them down, often resulting in a number of failed attempts before it finally clicks.
All in all, this is a pretty good game, but I would wait until sale season starts before you pick it up since it is certainly not worth the full price tag.
Thank you if you made it this far through this long post. Although I said last time I was going to try and post more, I will try even harder to post more regularly. I have a few ideas that I would like to try out in the future that should make my reviews a little more interesting than just a few paragraphs, so stay tuned.